Do Men Need HELP Too? A Realistic View Into the Lives of Men Today

Can you believe it? Here we are today struggling unlike no other time in the history or mankind, and you are asking me if men need help too? From the viewpoint of a woman who has a man and we both are struggling to survive as well as the next man… this is what I have to say on the subject.

I know, I know, and I know more than most that this is not an easy topic for discussion. It may strike people in different ways as everybody should have an opinion about this subject matter. Some may have stronger opinions than others, while yet other people may simply have nothing to say about the subject at all… And with regards to those people who don’t have any opinion ‘one way or the other’ about what I am trying to say here is, YOU just can’t wonder aimlessly through life doing as you very well please. You had better wake up quickly because your ship may well have passed you by. You may actually wake up to a new dawn where you won’t be able to feed yourself, your family or kids (one day) in the immediate future! So, the short answer to the question I presented to you in the title of my article is “YES,” men need help too.

Once again, I am talking from experience. It is not by any means because I think I am smart or think I know more than anyone else… I am not quite that vain. It is because I see this with my own eyes every day as I live the reality of what is happening to our men in America. In this case, I have a front row seat as I can see what really goes on in the lives of people I know and love, first hand.

More and more people are becoming unemployed at historical alarming rates. Jobs are harder to find and more people are becoming homeless, helpless and frankly in ‘dire straits’ these days more than ever before, that I can recall. And if you take a moment to think about it, hopefully you will see that it has now come a time for us to ‘fill the need’ to help one-another (man, woman or child). So if after you read this article and your mindset is still on (or has been) “Every man for himself” attitude; I think you may want to do some deep-deep soul-searching. Or if you haven’t found GOD in your life yet, you may want to seek him out. You are gonna need someone because the very life you save may be your own or someone (man) in your family. Now, have you ever looked at it from that point of view? If so, that’s good… If not, look deeply into the mirror and see what you really find… You will find that you are not alone in this world and at some point in your life, I am sure someone was there to help you too.

Furthering my viewpoint on the subject, men may well be considered to be strong, independent and resourceful and that is all well and good. But the truth is that we all have our beginnings and a man’s beginnings was with a strong woman supporting him in the background. It may not look like it and you may not see it or even think about it, but there is a saying that goes “Behind every good man, is a good woman.” This my dear is a very true statement. I am making that affirmation because I believe that in every young child’s life (boy or girl) the strong woman behind their growth and encouragement was in fact their strong-willed mother. Am I right? We are talking about the woman who stayed up late at night mending or washing the young man’s clothes to prepare him for the next day’s duties (whatever they may be) and after getting maybe one or two hours sleep, the good strong-willed woman, got up bright and early to prepare the breakfast and lunch for the man, young boy or child before sending him out into the world to handle his affairs (whether it is school or work) for that day. And after the ‘mighty-woman’ in the man’s life sends him on his way, then her day starts before she can even catch her breath, she has to start on the tending of the house matters such as cleaning, managing the finances or shopping for food, if she is a homemaker. I know my mom had to start right away on dinner just after the breakfast was served and the dishes were cleaned. There really is no ‘down-time’ for a stay at home mom. The work never ends, it only begins day after day, after day! So for all those that have a stronger view on the other side of my question, thinking that men don’t need any help… You may want to reconsider your position on the matter. Men really do need help whether they think so or not. And even if they don’t want the help, if there is a good woman in the background somewhere (mother-sister-wife), they always get the support they need whether they acknowledge it or not…

Now here’s another viewpoint from the “Working Mom’s” perspective. You know, I just remembered as I am writing this article that everyone always loved the “Superman” cartoons and movies. But did anyone ever make a move or even a cartoon or even just give simple recognition to the other super man or the “Super Wo(man)”? If not, I don’t know why not, because she truly is the Superman of the century… A working mom is the backbone of the nations mighty men… However the reality is there is no one mightier than a “Superwoman” or a working mom as most people refer to her. She is the true brains behind the brawny of all men, big or small; mighty or powerful… Even all the presidents, received their mightiness from the strong women in their background lives. So please, try not to forget this… The mightiness of all men, comes from the strength of a woman offering support behind the men. You just don’t see it and it is often gone unrecognized… There is no need to boast it, you only need to know it.

In this current system of things as we know it, there has come a time that all men need the support of strong women… I am saying this to you in an unusually loud voice because the Mighty Women of the past are a somewhat dying breed and are now a days fewer and further between. For some reason un-be-known to me as to why, but the women of our time have become the “weakest-link.” The mightiness of past women has died off and gone to hog-heaven, I guess. It has truly left us and where it went or why, I simply can’t answer for you. Which is another reason I am writing this article… It is hopefully a wake-up call to Women all across America, and even the entire world to take a hard look at yourselves and ask yourselves (if in a relationship with a man), am I contributing something tangible to this relationship? If so, what? If not, why not? And can it be measured? This will help you to see yourself in a better light to see if you are in a healthy relationship with your man, what are you doing to show your support. Remember the mighty women of old… They stood behind their men… In other words, they help them to be real men or help them to be strong so they can go out and make all the contributions to society as we know of it today. Do your home work… Look at any historical man figure you want, and see who was behind him in the background showing support to put him in the spotlight.

Our men of today have more responsibilities heaped upon their heads than ever before… There is more sports, more politics, more economical decisions to make and so forth and on. However the reality of this is that with all the pressures that society has put on our good strong men, if you look carefully, it is penetrating their suit of armor. The pressures are breaking down their walls just as it did in the “Walls of Jericho” or “The Berlin Walls.” The pressures of life are eating away at the walls (heart, arteries and minds) of our good, good, strong men to the point they can no longer stand up under the pressure. I don’t know if you are hearing me and what I am saying to you here. But just take a moment to look into the faces of our men now… They can’t hide all the pressures that are taking them down… Although they try to wear it well, they truly are succumbing to the multitude of pressures in their respective lives. Tell me if I am on the right track here, because I think so, but then again, I am not GOD, so please tell me if I am wrong in what I am seeing with our men… I see the pressures on men becoming ever more prevalent, while at the same time their salaries and the job opportunities are declining all across America. Is this an accurate assessment here?

Further, I see men that are in need of some kind of general support system (mental, emotional or otherwise). Men may look like the “Rock of Gibrathar,” meaning they have unwavering strength that cannot be overcome or does not fail; but the truth of the case in the whole scheme of things. Think about what I am saying here… Look at the face of our nations president… Doesn’t he look strong, unmovable and unshaken by any event in history? But if you take a closer look at the lines around his eyes the aging or sagging and the graying of his hair. These are unmistakable signs of distress in the best of us… Now his hair may look young, vigorous and black today, but make no mistake about it… It was gray on yesterday and will be even grayer on tomorrow… There is nothing he can do about it “Just for Men” is a great cover-up, but it doesn’t dare touch on the real issues as to what may be making men go Gray! So let’s not play games here, this is serious business… Men are at their most trying times ever and there is absolutely no way out!!! But if you choose to look at this like a game of chance, let’s in fact look at it as a game of ‘poker‘ where you can bluff your way out or strategically work your way out. Now, since I don’t believe too much in ‘chance’, I believe you have to deal with the hand you have been dealt the very best you can. So the reality and the lesson learned for this scenario is that to win at the game you are playing in your life, you had better compile a winning team… Meaning you had better align yourself with strong alliances in your own camp (home, work or team). Remove the weak links in your camp (family, friend or foe) and align yourself with people who will support your cause and help you to reach your goals… I am afraid that this is critically important to any man’s success, as mentioned in most cases through history that the enemy or the destroyer usually comes from within ones on camp (family, companion, employment or team). So, with that being said, it would behoove you to look at all the people in your camp (environment) that have a direct affect on your success or demise. If these people are not your supporters or contributors, then it probably would be in your best interest to get them out of your way to the top… You don’t need a bunch of thorns or thickets; you need a path that you can navigate your way through. That is if you want to win at the game you are playing… Whether it is the game of life you are playing or the corporate game of making it to the top faster than the next man… You still need a winning hand from the very start and that my dear, is critical to your success.

Now that we have discussed what is really going on here and who is really in the support group to help the men win the game they are playing… Let’s look at what is – what can be – and what we are going to do about it… This starts by taking a good look in the mirror and thinking about some of what I have said that applies to your life or the men in your life. The support group really are the women, since I have been talking all along about helping men in need. You see, there is only two groups of people in this world that I know about “the women” and “the men.” So, if you are not the ‘man’ that I am talking about in my article, then you clearly are the other side of the coin or the ‘woman’ in this case scenario. Are we on the same page here? If so, what are you going to do to support the efforts of the man in your life that really needs a source of encouragement, strength and guidance? You don’t need to tell me what you are going to do, but my message is stimulate your mind in order to motivate you to think about it, first and foremost; then to act accordingly to issues of this nature in your life. Is this too much to ask of you?

Bet you are huffing and puffing right about now and possibly saying all sorts of unkind things about me like “who the “h*#!^” are you asking me to do… this, this and that?! Another one may say “You had better look at your own life and fix it if it needs to be fixed, but don’t tell me what to do in my life with my own man!! Huff, puff & buff, huh you got some nerve!” (while flinging your hair back and tooting your nose up) While someone else may say, ” I don’t think so, my man better keep taking care of me and I don’t care what that woman says… She is just stupid. I am a high maintenance girl and gotta keep my nails and hair done and drive the finest cars… So, I am not listening to you because I am going keep on doing what I been doing to get what I got… My man can fix things all by himself… He, nor me don’t need your stupid words of wisdom or whatever you are trying to say about me!!! Huff, puff & buff, huh you got some nerve! You better talk to the hand!!!

Ha, ha, ha… I get it, I get it and I have heard all this before, but truly, I think it is “too sad” that a woman who has a good man, doesn’t really understand how to support her man or to keep his spirits built up and/or keep him encouraged so he can continue the fight of his life, while he is trying to do all he can to do his very best to make you happy. Audience, I get it, really I do. But I don’t think you realize how hard men work to try to please you… Let me share a couple of life stories that I personally know about.

Case -1: I know of a man who was married for about 35-yrs or so. They had 3-children and the wife was a stay at home mom. Not even a soccer mom (as we commonly refer to today). This woman truly had her cake and ate the whole thing too… I think she took total advantage of this man because he worked all day while she did her nails, hair, checked out the latest soaps and ran up his credit cards… The man did all he could do for her and when that wasn’t enough or he didn’t make more money to support her addiction, she left him… Just kicked her husband to the curb like a bag of garbage. Not only did she do that, but she left him with the kids and ran off with ‘John Doe’, looking for green grass (more cash) on the other side… And so, and so, and so as the story goes, the grass truly wasn’t greener on the other side because the man she left her husband for, did not respect her, but beat her and eventually killed her and now she is gone and left her story to carry on. However, her husband did survive and went onto remarry into the support group of women who love and support their men as I am discussing in this article.

Case-2: This is a story about a young military couple in their early twenties. This young soldier was a bright young man with a promising future in the military. He had three young (beautiful) kids, all under the age of 5-yrs old. Life looked wonderful for them until the woman decided, she was bored with her home life while her husband was gone all the time working to support the family (like men often do). That did not seem to be good enough for her so she left him too with all the young kids… This poor guy did not have a clue as to what he could do or how he could manage all by him self with three young kids (one girl and two boys), so unfortunately the man could not find a way to handle his affairs and he committed suicide. All the children went off to live with other living relatives (other than the mother).

Case-3: The final story that I know of is a case where a young man was involved with a young woman who seemed to be promiscuous. I believe this was what attracted him to her. However, when they became involved for sometime, the poor man did not seem to get the woman to settle down as she continued to flirt about with others while he tried to work hard to provide anything she wanted and everything she asked for. But one day, I think the woman took him for granted far more than she should have and jumped into their bed with some other man… When the man happened to come home one day early from work to tell her he just got promoted to his team’s leader and ask her to marry him so he could show her how serious he was and how much he really loved her and wanted to live the rest of his life with her… he unfortunately walked into a very disappointing surprise that instantly broke his heart, shattered his dreams and shocked him senselessly. The man was so distraught from catching (who he thought was) the love of his life in their bed with another man, that he immediately acted in the ‘heat of passion’ and killed both the man and his girlfriend and turned the gun on himself… My question to that is “what is this for?” It was all for nothing…

So you see, what I am trying to say here is that men, your man, my man or anyone’s man tends to work hard to do whatever they think you need them to do to make you happy… So when “the bow breaks” what do they have to fall back on if there is no support system in place? And, don’t for one moment think that I am not smart enough to know that men also fool around and abuse women… But that is not what this article is all about… We can save that topic for another day… But for now, I am only referring to men who are considered to be of good character, trying every way they know how to take care of their families in a struggling economy. This is what I have stated throughout this article. With that being said, I would like to speak to women of good character that care about the men in their lives (husbands, brothers, fathers, sons, etc.). I am not saying that you need to take up the torture stake and run with it yourself; but what I am saying is for you to consider doing something good, something meaningful or something that makes a difference to someone you care about. Sometimes men lose their way… Show them the way if you in fact know how you can help them to turn a failing situation around. Show them a measure of good character, build up a good support system for the special man in your life. If and when you do what I am saying here, it will speak volumes and both of your lives will be the better for it.

I know that everyone can use an encouraging word of support and I would like to end by offering you words of support for today and every day… Below are ‘quotable quotes’ I think are good words to live by… I’d like to share them with you. Please read

“Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality which guarantees all the others” by Winston Churchill

“We must have courage to bet on our ideas, to take the calculated risk, and to act. Everyday living requires courage if life is to be effective and bring happiness” by Maxwell Maltz

Being the type of person that I am, I just want to say in closing “thank you for taking time from your busy day to read my article'” It is my hopes that I helped you to have a different prospective on a rapidly growing dilemma we have among our good men in America… So all I can ask in your behalf is, may Jehovah GOD bless you and yours and keep you safe and happy in these difficult times…